DC Comics Vs RWBY! Which crazy duo will take this tag team battle?
History of the MatchupEdit
Literally no history here. Just a team match between swaggy leaders and flamboyant followers. Comedy, theatrics, music and lights all meet up for a spectacular show!
The shattered moon of revenant begins to glow as the sun sets, and the world fades into evening. An abandoned city lies deathly silent, until faint voices can be heard from deep inside one building. The voices of laughing females.
A large semi-truck is parked outside this building, and half a dozen men with thick hoodies and clown masks are loading large boxes into the back. One of the men stumbles and shakes his box, causing a small red crystal to fly out of the top. Another man picks it up and looks at it.
Chuck: I mean, they look pretty, but they feel kind of plastic and grainy. I hope the boss-man knows what he’s doing with these.
Slick: I think this is just a side gig. He said somethin’ about comin’ here lookin’ for someone.
Chuck: Yeah, well. I hope he finds them soon. We’re nearly full, and I don’t think this place is going to be...
The two are interrupted when a blur shoots through them, grabbing the crystal, and leaving, trailed by a rainbow. The henchmen take a second to register what happened, and quickly pull out their guns. The blur returns and zig-zags through them, stealing their guns and leaving them confused and angry.
Nick: Hey, what’s going on here?
Chuck: Is it the Flash?
Duke: On LSD? Doubt it. Show yourself!
???: As you wish, gentlemen.
Two shadows step out from behind the building, and while their identities are still literally in the dark, the henchmen see them just fine.
All six henchmen: ... what the fu-
Inside, the Joker kicks open a door and leaves a room, dropping a handful of empty syringes onto the floor. Harley Quinn follows him, a little confused. The Joker, however, is not happy. Rather, angry. As the door swings shut behind them, there is a brief glimpse of Team RWBY lying on the ground, laughing helplessly, as a green gas fades away.
Joker: Come all this way, and for what? A fake! No, not even a fake! Someone completely different! Why, I oughtta... this isn’t funny!
Harley: I know you’re upset, Puddin’, but why’d you have to give them the antidote? You’ve killed kids before!
Joker: Meh, I figure let them grow up and let them live out their sad lives. Mature a bit. Know despair. Find inner strength. Rise up with courage and hope! Seize the day! And then kill them. No point in... wait a minute. What has twelve legs, ample amounts of weapons, and isn’t where it should be right now?
Harley: The new guys?
Joker: The new guys!
The two have made their way outside, and the henchmen are all missing. The truck is still there, but missing half its load.
???: Hey, suit!
The clowns look up and see Flynt Coal and Neon Katt looking down on them from the second story of a damaged building.
Flynt: That stuff you’re stealing. That don’t belong to you.
Joker: ...Any other fascinating reveals?
Flynt: That dust belonged to my father. The last warehouse he had. Don’t think I’m going to just let you walk off with it.
Joker: Actually, I plan to drive. I mean, she’s a Ford, so she could be better, but the trunk space is...
Joker is cut off as Neon races down the building and stops in front of Joker’s face.
Neon: Wow, so skinny! You know, usually I tell people to lose weight, but have you ever had a cheeseburger? Oh, and perhaps a tan?
Joker: You know, screw the Ford. I think I need to rev up my Harley. Darling!
Joker ducks as Harley brings out a Tommy Gun from the back of the truck and fires at Neon, who easily skates away from the bullets, leaving a rainbow in her wake.
Neon: Who’re you, his girlfriend? You know, both of you could do better!
Harley: Don’t knock it ‘til you try it!
Flynt hops down from the building and Neon pulls up to him, and the two teams walk towards each other. Harley pulls out her massive hammer and gives it a twirl, Neon spins her nunchucks, Joker flips out a butterfly knife, and Flynt breaks out the Trumpet.
Joker: Two half-naked chicks here, no doubt you’re getting-
Flynt: I have heard that pun way too many times. This time, joke’s all about you!
Joker: Isn’t it always?
HERE WE GO!!!Edit
(Hawkeye’s Theme, 0:14-1:25)
Joker stabs at Neon, who pirouettes away from the attack and circles around him, while Harley swings at Flynt’s face. A quick blow on his trumpet stops her hammer, and Coal uppercuts Quinn in the jaw. Flynt points his horn to the ground and blows, shooting out a stream of fire and creating a smokescreen, backing out of it while Joker and Harley figure out what’s happening. Neon begins to circle the crime clowns, but all they can see of her is a bright rainbow flash moving so fast it looks like there’s more than one of her. She shoots in between them, smacking each with her nunchucks, until the Joker grows tired and flips a banana peel out from inside his coat pocket onto the ground. Neon trips over it and reveals herself, allowing Harley to smack her away with the hammer. Quinn chases after her, and Joker looks around for Flynt until the Team Leader ambushes him from behind, smacking him upside the head with his horn. A switchblade pops out of the leadpipe and Flynt continues his assault, putting the Joker on the defensive as he blocks Coal’s attacks with his knife.
Elsewhere, Neon has recovered and is skating away from Harley, who shoots after her with one of her machine guns. Neon manages to dodge every bullet and enters a large pipe, pulling a loop around the top to reverse her direction back at Harley. With a handspring, she leaps into the air and attempts to dropkick her with one of her roller blades, but Harley blocks the attack with her hammer and pushes her away. When Neon lands, she shoots at Harley again, and Quinn drops the hammer to defend herself with a baseball bat instead, batting away the swings of Katt’s nunchucks. The two banter while they duel.
Neon: Can I ask, why the makeup? With a chest that unnatural, it’s not like your boyfriend spends much time looking at your face.
Harley: Yeah, and I’m sure the Weeb with a tail knows all about relationships.
Harley bats Neon on the side of the face, spinning her around, and grabs her tail, yanking it backwards. Neon yelps in pain, but ducks to the ground and clicks her nunchucks together to activate a different dust vial. They glow light blue and she hits Harley’s shins with them, encasing her feet in ice.
Harley: This your way of saying I’m cooler than you?
Neon: Sure, as long as that means I’m hotter than you.
Harley: You’re sure about to be, honey.
Neon looks down and sees a cupcake with a lit fuse underneath her. The explosion sends her flying, and Harley shoots a gun at the ice around her legs to start freeing herself. Neon flies over top of the Joker and Flynt, who are still dueling, but Joker has regained his advantage. Flynt, knowing he may not win in close quarters, backflips away and retracts his blade. Putting his horn to his lips, he blows a soundwave at the Joker, pushing him backwards like a mighty blast of wind. Joker flies into a building and gets up, brushing himself off.
Joker: Ooh hoo hoo, and I thought Killer Croc’s breath was bad. Now then, comin’ at ya!
The Joker pulls a crowbar out from his trousers and runs maniacally at Flynt, who blows his soundwave again. Joker is ready, and is not blown over, but is still caught off guard by the force Flynt puts out, and struggles to walk towards him, while Neon races back to Harley in the background. Flynt suddenly stops the blast, and Joker stumbles forward into a Sparta kick to the face from Coal.
Flynt turns to see a large hammer flying towards his face, and sees stars when he’s hit and knocked onto his back. Harley jumps on him and begins to repeatedly smack him across the face. Joker stands up and looks at Harley’s violence with curiosity, giving her a round of applause.
Joker: Why thank you, my dear, but don’t give him too much credit. Much like his feline friend, that attack was a little flat, if you ask m...
Joker is cut off as Neon runs into him, grabbing him by the shoulders and pinning him against the wall.
Joker: Ooh, touchy, aren’t we?
Neon is surprised when Joker shoots a stream of water into her face from the flower on her chest, and stumbles away, allowing the Clown Prince to sneak behind her.
Joker: Unfortunately for you, I’m touchy too!
Joker begins to tickle Neon on her sides and stomach, causing her to break out into a fit of laughter and drop her weapons.
Joker: Koochie koochie koo!
Harley has stopped beating up Flynt by this time and both are staring at the antics with confused looks on their faces. Harley turns back to Flynt and points a gun at his face.
Harley: Don’t even try it.
Flynt: I got something else in mind.
Flynt splits into four Flynts, shocking Harley, and the three clones team up to kick her off the original. Back at the Clown vs the Cat, Neon is leaning against a wall, panting from laughing so hard. Joker picks up his crowbar again, and bats it against his hand.
Joker: I’d love to keep that up, but we’ve got a PG-13 rating to fill.
Joker then bashes Neon’s head against the wall with the Crowbar, and raises it one more time.
Joker: Curiosity killed... what’s that?
Joker flies away as the four Flynts attack him with a concentrated wind attack, and Neon is spared. She picks up her nunchucks and races back over to Flynt, while Joker gets up. As the two march towards the Joker, he pulls a revolver from his pocket and points it at Flynt. Team FNKI stops, wary of what the trigger can bring, but when Joker pulls it, all that comes out is a flag with “Bang!” on it. Joker giggles, and waves at the two.
Joker: Made you look!
Four Flynts turn too late to see Harley smack one with her hammer so hard he flies into the others, reverting back to one, and sending him down the street. Neon charges up to Harley and begins beating her with her fists and weapons, and when Harley raises her hammer to defend herself, Neon grabs it and shoots away to the top of a skyscraper, planting it like a flag before running back down. As she returns to the battlefield, Joker calls out to Harley.
Joker: Harley! Get to the truck!
Harley: Got it!
Harley runs off to the Joker’s truck, and Joker takes out a deck of playing cards. He shoots them at Neon, who dodges them and avoids the explosions they create, and heads towards the Joker while spinning her weapon.
Joker: Hit me. Hit me. Come on, hit me!
Neon rushes Joker, but at the last second he grabs her arms and spins her around as if the two were dancing, before kicking her away. His revolver now in play for real this time, he fires six shots, all of which hit Neon in the back, but her aura blocks most of the damage. Recovering, she skates around and around the Joker, so fast he is caught in the middle of a rainbow cyclone that lifts him up into the air, while he giggles. When she stops, Joker begins to free-fall from about three stories in the air, but before he hits the ground he is blasted by Flynt once again, who has rejoined the battle.
Flynt: Neon, finish him off!
Neon: No problem!
But there is a problem, as Harley is back in action as well. She races past the Joker on her motorcycle and grabs Neon by the neck with a chain, driving off and dragging the Faunus on the ground.
Joker: You’re quite skilled with that horn, my boy. Personally, I always had a knack for a 2X4.
Flynt turns and gets smacked in the face by the Joker’s plank of wood. Joker strikes him a few more times before breaking the plank over his head.
Joker: But please, let me congratulate you!
Joker then grabs one of Flynt’s hands and shocks him with a hand buzzer, sending electricity ripping through his body while he shakes the hand up and down. Finally, a smoking Flynt stumbles back, and puts his trumpet back to his mouth.
Joker: Ah ah! Have a sneeze on me, Armstrong!
Joker throws a whiff of sneezing powder at Flynt, who begins to cough and sneeze uncontrollably, rendering him unable to use his Trumpet effectively. Joker backhands him, but Flynt stands his ground.
Flynt: I am not... AH CHOO!... losing to a clown!
With this, Flynt splits into four individuals again, surrounding the Joker. Although each has a slight cold, they team up on the Kingpin, beating him up with punches and kicks while they pass him between them. Joker laughs while he takes the abuse, but falls to the ground. The four Flynts stand over him and hit him point-blank with the trumpets, burying the Joker in a small crater. Slowly, he climbs out, dazed, and fans off one of his gloves, which has caught fire.
Flynt: Stay down, clown. I can see you dig the scene.
Joker: Hah! That... that’s funny. Ouch, my back.
Flynt then picks up a metal rod near him, left in the streets from the destruction, and throws it behind the Joker where it plants into the ground. The FNKI leader then kicks the Joker down into the hole again and runs off to find Harley and Neon while his enemy falls. The two ladies are racing throughout the city, with Neon having freed herself, and are playing a Tron-like game of tag through the city buildings. Whenever they get close to each other, it’s a swing of the bat against the swing of a nunchuck, until Neon tricks Harley into getting too close to a sign and her bat breaks apart into splinters. Angered, Harley brings out a Tommy gun and shoots at Neon with one hand while driving with the other. Neon laughs while she avoids the attack.
Neon: Wow, seriously? You know, both your boyfriend and your aim are kinda proving you never had a shot at anything decent. Me? Well, let’s just say I never miss a beat!
Neon flips onto the front of Harley’s cycle and begins to steer it into a building, while Harley wrestles for control. They head towards a skyscraper and Harley fumbles around in her purse, pulling out a banana cream pie. Handing it to Neon, the Faunus looks at it in confusion before it explodes, knocking both off the cycle. Harley leaps into the air, high enough to grab her hammer from its perch on the building, while the wreckage of the bike travels towards Flynt, who has arrived on the scene. Just in time, he blows his horn at the bike, blowing it to kingdom come before it can reach him, and braces himself for the shower of fire. Neon rolls up next to him, covered in ash and whipped cream, and the two look up to see Harley descending towards them with her hammer. They back away in time, and Harley lands... on a whoopee cushion thrown under her by the Joker to stop her hard landing. The cushion spews out a breath of flame at the Huntsmen, who step back while Flynt clears it away, and the clowns run out from behind the firewall to attack. A furious four-on-four melee commences between knives, nunchucks and hammers, as the teams fight with everything they have. Joker and Harley are more random in their attacks, while Flynt and Neon remain in sync with their superior teamwork.
Neon: See? Told you I never miss a beat!
Harley: You’re gonna wish you missed this beatdown!
Joker: Tell me boy, you seem angry. Victim of crime? Dad got shot in an alley and you began a rampage of revenge to avenge him? That’s very nice and stereotypical of you.
Flynt grabs Joker’s wrist and pulls away, but only comes away with a fake glove, several rainbow covered scarves, and at the end, a flash bomb. It goes off, blinding FNKI, but Joker and Harley backflip out of the way and pull out two machine guns. With a nod to each other, they begin to light FNKI up. Just before the bullets hit, Flynt activates his Semblance and splits into four, blasting wind out of his trumpet powerful enough to stop the shots in the middle of the air; Neon runs through them and plucks the bullets away before dumping them on the ground at the couple’s feet and winking mockingly. Flynt reverts into one, and as Neon grabs Harley by the waist and runs her away, he and Joker run at each other and lock weapons.
Joker: You’re out to defend Daddy’s legacy and you think you can do it without killing anyone? But my dear boy, you don’t know just how fun killing out of revenge really is!
Flynt: Let me tell you something clown.
Flynt ducks a swing from the Joker and kicks him to the ground.
Flynt: I’m a huntsman. I became one to rid the world of evil and make it a better place. You may not be a vicious nightmare monster, but...
Flynt brings the trumpet to his face.
Flynt: What exactly gave you the impression I wasn’t going to kill scum like you?
Joker: Well, you certainly can’t pull that hat off, so you probably can’t pull a trigger either.
Flynt: Mind games won’t work on me, especially after what you did to my friends.
Joker: Not my fault she has the same description as someone I hate!
Joker reaches up and grabs Flynt by the tie, hoping to reel him in, but the tie rolls right off considering it wasn’t done up right in the first place. Coal scoffs and grabs Joker’s tie, pulling him up to his feet, and begins to punch him in the face repeatedly.
Joker: Ow! Augh! Ooh! Eeh! Waitwaitwait! You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would you?
Joker puts on a pair of Groucho Marx glasses, and Flynt rolls his eyes, punching the Joker’s face once again. Joker stumbles, and the glasses break, covering Flynt’s hand in a sort of silly putty. As Flynt looks at it in confusion, the Joker strikes back and bitch-slaps Flynt. As he prepares his next attack, Flynt raises his arm to defend himself, and Joker’s hand gets stuck in the putty as well. Flynt uses this opportunity to yank the Joker’s arm, pulling it into a hold behind his back, and kicks him away, breaking off the putty. Pulling his trumpet off his belt and twirling it like a boss, he aims it at Joker with one hand and activates a bright yellow dust vial. When he fires, it isn’t wind that comes out, but rather, fireworks, which explode around the Joker and force him to dance like a maniac to dodge. When the attack cools down, the surrounding area is decimated, and Joker fans off one of his flaming gloves... again.
Joker: Hilarious! Can I get in the next punch-line?
Flynt prepares to attack again, but a knife thrown by Joker flies into the trumpet and knocks it into Flynt’s face.
Joker: Call that a note to self!
Joker runs at Flynt and the two grab hands, trying to push each other down. Elsewhere, Harley and Neon grapple each other to the ground and begin a catfight, which Neon soon wins, and she throws Quinn off her. Her nunchucks click and glow red, and she swings them, creating a fiery after-effect, and Harley dodges only so successfully before she is finally hit in the face and burned, falling to the ground.
Neon: Ohmygosh, now you actually have a reason for the makeup!
As Harley stumbles from the attack and rubs her head in pain, Neon circles around the field and lines up a run for the kill, down a ramp towards Harley. Nunchucks in hand, she twirls them as she accelerates, her rainbow shooting out from behind her.
Neon: You may be top-heavy, but I’m coming out on top!
Harley: Top-heavy? You know it, girly!
Harley pops open her top and flashes Neon as she approaches her (camera angle is from behind her, you pervs). Neon gasps in both surprise and confusion, and begins to wobble as she approaches Harley. Eventually, one of her legs gives away and she trips over a crack in the road, and flies towards Quinn, who raises her hammer over her shoulder. Time seems to slow down as the home-run approaches, and when Neon’s scared face is only a few feet from Harley’s look of glee, the clown-girl winks.
Harley: Pucker up, schnookums!
Harley swings and smashes her hammer into Neon’s head, sending her flying in a shower of sparks to signify the loss of her aura. The Fauness flies past Joker and Flynt, who both get distracted, and she crashes into a building, where one of the walls collapses and buries her in rubble. Slowly, the bricks fall away and Neon climbs back out, heavily dazed, and her hair “out”. Bloodied and bruised, she tries to free her legs from the rocks and make her way to Harley again. Quinn props her hammer on her shoulder and takes a handgun off of her belt.
Harley: Puddin’! Time for the finale!
Joker blasts Flynt with a stream of water from his suit flower and turns his head, his frustration turning to joy.
Joker: Oohoohoo! I love a great ending to a happy show! Right after a twist, of course!
Joker kicks Flynt in the yamsack, causing him to scream silently and fall back as Joker holds an arm out to his side. A playing card, the Ace of Spades, slides out of his sleeve into his hand, and with a snap of his fingers, Joker throws the card towards Neon, followed by Harley clicking her tongue and pulling the trigger. Time slows down and Katt, still slowly freeing herself, spots the card fly in front of her, Right as passes in front of her terrified face, Harley’s shot snipes it, and the resulting detonation completely destroys what’s left of the building. The three survivors look on, two in awe and one in horror, and Neon screams as she is engulfed by the flames, reduced to ash as the fire fades away.
Flynt: Neon! N...no!!!
Joker: Oh, shut up! Sidekicks have a tendency to blow up when I’m around!
Flynt, still recovering from the cheap-shot and shock of losing his partner, can’t react to the Joker’s incoming crowbar swing, which bashes his face and cracks his sunglasses. Flynt falls to the ground and Joker kneels on top of him, repeatedly smashing FNKI’s leader with the crowbar until his aura is depleted, and the attacks begin to bruise him. Joker hops off at this point, and tosses the crowbar aside; in the background, Harley struts towards them for the front-row seat.
Joker: C’mon! Get up, get up! Every musician needs a great encore! A swansong for the trumpeter! Pretty please?
Flynt struggles to his feet and picks up his horn. Dazed, confused, and out of energy, he slowly raises his horn. However, he pops open the back, empties out the dust vial, and pulls a black and red one from his pocket, marked with a danger label. He puts it into his horn as the clowning caperers watch, and slowly raises his horn to his lips.
Joker: Time’s up!
Flynt can’t get a breath out before Joker throws a knife into his leg, sticking it right down to the bone and severing his tendons. Flynt screams and falls to a knee, and his screams grow louder as Joker hits the other leg with another knife in the same fashion. Crippled and down on both knees, Flynt drops his trumpet, and Harley picks it up as Joker grabs him by the back of his shirt collar.
Joker: To tell a sad truth... I was never into the Jazz movement. Or music at all. I’m more of a magician myself! Harley, would you mind?
Harley tosses the trumpet to Joker, who smacks it against Flynt’s head to loosen the reed, and he throws it at the dirt, where imbeds itself in the ground. Joker moves his hand to the back of Flynt’s head.
Joker: And now, the Clown Prince of Crime will open up the second act by making this reed disappear!
The scene cuts to black; all there is to be heard is the screams of Flynt, the giggles of Harley, and the maniacal laughter of the Joker. With a thud, one of these voices is silenced; the other two slowly echo away.
Joker, now with a new fedora, fiddles with Flynt’s trumpet in the shotgun seat as Harley drives the truck away.
Joker: A hah! Upgrade complete! You know, Harley, now I can follow my true passion as a versatile performer! I can play laughing gas, sneezing powder, fire... oh, what’s the point?
Now sad, Joker tosses the trumpet out the window. It explodes.
Joker: I could do all that stuff already, and with smaller gadgets. Minus the hat, this trip was a big waste! That’s the last time we follow rumours of a dark, broody individual with pointed ears in the area. She couldn’t even put up a fight!
Harley: Aww, pudding, it wasn’t a total waste! I gots me a fancy new hammer from that one girl! Plus, with the controls to those new robots, we’ll be in for a big score when we get back to Gotham!
???: You mean IF you get back to Gotham!
The two look up and see Cinder Fall float down from the sky, touching down on the hood of the truck.
Cinder: I have a proposition for you two.
Harley: Ooh, cliffhanger!
(Fade out music)
Joker: Dammit, I hate cliffhangers. Lady, I have this for you!
(Hawkeye’s Theme, 0:00-0:20)
Joker pushes a button and a windshield wiper smacks Cinder in the face. She falls off the truck and gets ran over by Harley, and the truck drives off into the sunset, with both clowns laughing along the way.