This fanmade DBX features Noire from Hyperdimension Neptunia, Marie from Persona 4 Golden, and
Severa Selena from Fire Emblem Fates.
Unable to admit their feelings towards anyone? Check. Do they all have that iconic twintail hairstyle? Mostly, but at least they all have those two bangs going down their faces. All those and more seem to be the calling sign of the tsundere....
Are you sure they're not related?
Normal Text: Selena
Location: Junes: Lastation Division Wintertime.
Tis the height of the winter season, and love is apparently in the air. I suppose that would be the proper thing to say on Valentines Day, but there isn't exactly much love going around at the moment. Nah, instead we have hoards of would be suitors rushing through the city in a last minute ditch to find the perfect gift for their would be loved ones. It's hardly a pleasant holiday for preexisting couples, but it somehow managed to be even worse for those unfortunate souls who happened to remain single.
But it's not like EVERYONE out there really NEEDS a significant other, right? Who needs love when you'll just be much better off on your own? Who needs to get together with some random chump off the street...
When you've already got the perfect mate in mind? These were the exact thoughts running through the minds of three surprisingly similar girls on this lovely morning.
(That dumbass had better appreciate all the effort I'm going through just for him... It's not like I'm doing this out of kindness or anything, just repaying the favor... I mean, what are the chances we could... Yeah, that's it. You just keep telling yourself that.) A young girl with twintailed hair unknowingly monologued out loud as she made a beeline for the nearest checkout aisle, her hands filled to the brim with last minute gifts. Of course, it usually pays to be able to see directly in front of you when you're in such a big hurry. This girl was so preoccupied, that she completely failed to notice a strikingly similar redhead lounging around in front of her destination with an equally massive payload in hand.
"Dammit, where's the door here?! Could this place's design BE any more convoluted? I swear, if-"
In a scene ripped straight out of an old Looney Toons cartoon, a wide variety of items were comically thrown up into the air as the two girls were knocked to the floor.
"Hey, watch where you're going, idiot-"
"The hell was that for?! I'M supposed to have the right of way he-"
The two immediately argued, only to come to an abrupt stop once they managed to get a positive glance at one another.
"It's like looking in a mirror.... Am I one of those hidden camera shows now?"
"Is this somebody's idea of a joke?! Who do YOU think you are, my mother?"
And naturally, the conversation quickly escalated to the point of... dramatic attorney style pointing. (Somebody get me a thesaurus here...) Well either way you look at it, the two women in this situation are nearly identical. Seriously, if you just dyed the redhead's hair black, they could easily pass for twins! But of course their anger soon turned into pure panic as they made a mad dash for their fallen would be purchases.
"Ugh! This day is already enough of a pain as it is! Why the hell did you have to be lounging about in the middle of the hall?!"
"Whatever. It's not like YOU'RE any better running around indoors, let alone COMPLETELY copying my style!"
"Oh, I'M the one copying you?! Don't you know who I am? I'm the CPU of Lastation, bitch!"
"Well excuuuuuuuuuse me, princess! I've ever even heard of you. And hey, wait a minute, that's not yours! Put it down!"
"Yeesh, what rock have you been living under? After all, I-" Noire tauntingly replied before a colorful piece of paper suddenly came into view.
"Oh, what's this?"
"Nononono don't you dare!"
"What is it now- AGH!"
Without even a moment's notice, a newcomer literally came crashing into the area to reclaim what was rightfully hers, only to lose the rest of her belongings to the floor in the process.
"Stupidlonghairedsnarkyjerk I can't believe this!" The new girl angrily cried out. One good glance at her luckily made her quite distinguishable in comparison to her newfound comparisons, what with her iconic blue hat and shorter hairstyle.
"You did NOT just see what was on that, right?! And NO, it wasn't a poem either!"
"Ugh, calm down! I didn't even ask about that!"
"Like I'm really gonna believe a word you say, Butterfly."
"Um, what did you just call me?"
"Butterfly. Your head looks like a butterfly. I bet you could fly around through the air if you kept flapping those ribbons of yours."
"Hey, don't ignore me! I'm still a part of this conversation to-"
"Oh, what the hell do I care?!" Noire shrugged off the rest of the group as she disobeyed Marie's warning to read what was on her lost item. What she witnessed left her eyes wide open in sheer awe.
"Yeah, not so fast! I'll just be..." Selena interrupted, yanking away the parchment from the clearly awestruck CPU. "Whoa... Hey, Rummage Girl, where did you even get this?"
"HEY! Stupidinsensitvethievingjerkface! I told you two NOT to read it!"
"I guess it's too late for that... But you know... I have been running awfully low on credits lately..."
"Yeah... And I'd rather not have to return all my gifts just so I can go out for more level grinding. So... GAWDS, what the hell is that?!" Selena abruptly cried out as she pointed her arm off into the distance. With Noire and Marie's heads turned away, the redhead made a run for the opposite direction, with the parchment still in tow.
"Nu uh, don't you freakin' dare!" The remaining girls warned upon realizing they've been fooled. Selena couldn't help sowing off a devilish grin as she furthered her own escape. Determined to close the distance, Marie raised her hand up in the air, spontaneously summoning a lightning bolt mere inches in front of the redhead.
Selena jumped back on pure instinct, barely managing to avoid getting fried by the oncoming spell. Hearing a set of rapidly approaching footsteps behind her, Selena reached into her pockets and suddenly thrust her arm behind her to block an oncoming attack from the CPU of Lastation herself.
"An umbrella, seriously?"
"Hey, it's not my fault this place made me to leave my real weapons by the front desk! You're not one to talk either, Miss Baguette!"
"Wait, you two actually brought weapons here? No fair!" Marie scolded as a blue tarot card materialized in her hand. With a flash of light, a strange butterfly like construct appeared before the short haired girl. This was Kaguya, who immediately flicked a hand forward to assault the two swordfighters with a barrage of energy lances. Quickly noticing the oncoming projectiles, Noire and Selena broke off their bladelock to make a beeline for the newly summoned Persona.
The two weaved around the spears of light with a series of graceful flips, slides, and dives as they continued their approach. Once she reached an appropriate distance, Selena leaped high into the air, opened up her umbrella, and threw her umbrella at Kaguya like a harpoon. The Persona caught the weapon out of the air with ease, but this allowed Noire the opportunity to fully close the distance.
"How the hell does that even work?" The CPU asked in a bewildered tone as she swung her baguette at the large butterfly. However, Marie leaped into the fray swinging around her handbag to parry Noire's thrust.
"Yeah, I don't think so." Marie swung at the CPU once more, silently signalling Kaguya to bring down a rain of Hot Lightning all around her. Noire recoiled slightly, being forced to tank the first true blow of the battle. Selena had much better luck in this situation, managing to slide underneath an oncoming bolt and parry a strike from Kaguya with an entirely new umbrella.
Noire took another swing at the distracted mercenary, this time succeeding in slashing her along the back. "Where did you even get that from?! I just saw you throw your old weapon away like a ragdoll!"
"Like I'm REALLY gonna tell you. Who do you think you are, the Nohrian Inquisition?" Selena taunted as she engaged in another swordfight with her newfound twin. A swordfight... with an umbrella and a piece of bread. Putting the absurdity of this situation aside, the lookalikes quickly ceased their duel once they realized that Marie wasn't even trying to attack them anymore.
"Ha! Looks like SOMEONE knows when she's... Oh, there is no way!" It was at that moment when Selena realized, she had royally screwed up.
"Looking for something? I'd love to stay and have a bite of fsteak, but I've really gotta run!" Marie called from far away, waving her reclaimed ticket around for all to see. With a mutual glare of contempt in their eyes, the remaining tsunderes rushed off in opposite directions, hoping to cut off Marie's escape route when she least expects it.
One could swear that the grin forming across Marie's face was more than capable of devouring an entire bag of fertilizer at this point. With an admittedly cool evil laugh, she leaped over a nearby railing and slid down a conveniently placed banner to safely make her way down to a lower floor. Her escape plan managed to continue without a hitch for a short while, until she bumped right into a familiar red haired youth.
"Ow! Stupidpimpingemojerk why don't you-"
"Hahaha! Why if it isn't the Papergirl! What's the rush, you seem a bit heavy handed there!" The boy turned around to greet her.
"Great, of all the idiots I could run into it HAD to be the psycho."
"Psycho? I'd SHO you otherwise, but I'm pretty sure you already got the POINT a long time ago! Hahaha!"
"Yeah yeah, you're hilarious... Weren't you banned from this store a while back after you trashed it in your fight with that Xiao Long girl?"
"What, you mean this?" Sho held up a clearly stolen wanted poster. "This is a pretty TEARABLE excuse for a restraining order if you ask me."
Forcing a palm to her forehead to cope with the redheads irritating laugh, Marie's attention was soon drawn to the unmistakable sound of an angry approaching tsundere.
"Oh, crap! Look, it's been fun to meat you again, but I've gotta run!" Marie abruptly cut the conversation in a panic as she frantically seeked an escape route. With very few options under her belt as is, Marie made a beeline for an empty box.
"Don't tell ANYONE I'm in here, got it?!"
"Eh maybe I'll stay quiet... How 'bout if you agree to MARIE me, eh- OW!" Sho mouthed off another pun, only to be met with a boot to the face. "All right, fine, I'm not a Bush! But you'd better hope there aren't any Snakes in there!"
Just as Marie expected, one of her adversaries came into view not long afterwards.
"Why helloooo, beautiful. Are you hotheaded or just happy to Sho me-"
"Moron. You didn't happen to see a girl pass by lately, did you?"
"Oh conglaturation, this story is happy end! I can see one right in front of me!"
"Geez, aren't you slap happy? I'll let you in on some WOODY information if you stop..." Sho informed as he leaned into his fellow redhead's ear just quietly enough so that Marie couldn't make out his words.
All was quiet for what seemed to be an agonizing few seconds until...
Selena taunted in triumph as she lifted away Marie's box and nailed her with a wicked upward swing of her umbrella, scoring a much sought after CRITICAL HIT and knocking the Persona user right into the window behind her.
"Ugh, TRAITOR!" Marie rose from the debris and pointed an accusatory finger at Sho, who was laughing his ass off at the new turn of events like a mad hyena. Marie barely had time to notice, but the redheaded girl did manage to succeed in swiping the ticket off of her... somehow. but there's no time to think about that now! Selena threw more of endless supply of umbrellas at the storefront, forcing Marie to duck for cover.
"Hey, don't leave me out of this!" came a familiar voice approaching from further... up? Wait, how is that even-
"VOLCANO DIVE!" Noire cried out, abruptly crashing in from the floor above, now wielding two baguettes in her hands instead of one. managing to land right in the middle of her warring opponents, the CPU's landing emitted a rather large electrical wave, knocking the surrounding combatants in the vicinity back a fair distance. Well, all except for Sho anyway, who safely leaped onto a nearby railing with the intent of watching the incoming carnage from afar. "Ooh, what a SHOCKING turn of events!"
...The grim stares of the three tsunderes immediately put a lid on the pun spammer's mood. "Jeez, tough crowd." With that, Sho mentally packed his bags and walked off, clearly pissed none of the girls were appreciating his sense of humor.
"Not so fast!" Selena suddenly struck out in the opposite direction, seeing as how Noire managed to sneak away nearly unnoticed.
"What's you're problem?! You're the one with the ticket now!" Noire responded as she parried the incoming attack.
"I'm not stupid, I can see it hanging out of your damn hair!" The redhead quickly pointed out as the two engaged in another mock sword fight. they managed to hold each other off quite evenly until a flat screen television literally came in between them and smashed into the nearby barricade. from the corner of their eyes, the two swordfighters caught Marie emerging from the storefront she had crashed into with a newfound glint in her eyes. Right behind the short haired girl was her signature Persona Kaguya, carrying a large assortment of flat screen televisions.
"How convenient. Of all the places you could end up in, it had to be the electronic department." Noire commented as Kaguya began hurling its supply of valuable merchandise at the two sword fighters, though she was clearly aiming the majority of her attacks at Noire. For reasons I can't even begin to explain, the identical tsunderes managed to CUT THROUGH THE TVS with every swing of their joke weapons. Clearly, thousands of thousands of whatever form of currency you'd like to go with were being wasted with every second.
With another plan brewing in her mind, Selena rushed off to the side, preventing any more TVs from being hurled in her direction and indirectly increasing Noire's workload. "What the hell, how much overstock does this one store have?!" Noire commented as the increased speed of the barrage began to force her backwards. Granted, she seemed to keep up with the pace just fine as she seemed to be emulating Cyborg Raiden at this point. With two pieces of bread instead of a sword. She managed to hold up her defense until her vision had suddenly gone dark.
"Hah! Told you I was tough!" Selena taunted from the distance as she carried what seemed to be a makeshift bow in her hand. How the hell she even managed to get that is beyond me, but what's important now is the toilet plunger stuck to Noire's face. The CPU was finally struck by one of Marie's televisions right afterward, which knocked her right off the balcony on contact.
..."Well that escalated quickly." Marie calmly stated as her Persona finally stopped ruining store merchandise. Suddenly, a flash of light emerged from Noire's direction, attracting the attention of her two rivals in the process. "There's... no way." The two girls muttered, cautiously approaching the edge with their weapons in tow.
"I'll show you the true power of a CPU!" Noire's voice called out from below, prompting the remaining tsunderes to hold their weapons out in anticipation, and just in time too. A new figure came dashing up from below with her two baguettes still in hand, clashing weapons with Marie and Selena along the way. Much to her foe's surprise, Noire's appearance had drastically changed to that of a white haired figure in a ridiculosuly skintight suit. The blow caused the two of them to stumble back slightly, but they regained their bearings soon enough. Marie resummoned Kaguya while Selena drew back her custom bow, ready to take aim at the CPU... who continued to fly upwards for some reason, not even bothering to fight directly.
Noire gracefully swept through the air, adeptly avoiding any toilet plungers and lightning bolts that came her way. She even shouted "Barrel Roll!" every time she spun around to deflect any projectiles that came too close for comfort. "Actually, it's an aileron roll!" Marie attempted to correct her to no avail. A devilish grin hidden from her opponent's view formed across Noire's face as she finally neared the mall's ceiling. her eyes were clearly set on a certain decoration hanging above the complex.
Noire flew up to the chain holding up a massive chandelier.
The CPU grabbed hold of the chain and began swinging from the ornament as if it were a playground tool.
"Oh shit!" Selena and Marie cried out in shock as Noire looked down on them with devious intent in her eyes. Having finally swung her new toy into the proper position, Noire slammed her feet down hard enough to free the chandelier from its former position, sending it hurtling towards her fleeing adversaries.
"You're too persistent!" Marie quickly turned around to face the falling decoration, summoning Kaguya to slice it in half before it could even come close to harming anybody.
"And that's the finale!" Noire's voice triumphantly roared as the transformed goddess sped through the debris and delivered a stylish dropkick directly to Kaguya's face, sending the Persona flying right into its own master. Sure enough, the impact sent Marie herself flying towards the nearest wall, right in the direction of a fleeing Selena at that. The redhead managed to slide underneath the human cannonball in time, only to be met with a speeding baguette to the face, courtesy of the CPU of Lastation herself. Now confident she had successfully shaken off her pursuers, Noire quickly fled the scene in order to avoid the inevitable pissed off security guards that would follow.
Marie and Selena groaned in annoyance more than anything else as they stiffly arose from the rubble of the wall they had just crashed into.
"Oh no! I'm going to be in beary much trouble if I don't fix this place up! I couldn't BEAR to go through another salary cut!" came new, surprisingly high pitched voice approaching from down the hall. The two tsunderes were still too groggy to make a sufficiently swift escape, allowing a strange boy in an even stranger "bear costume" to stop them in their tracks.
"Stop right there, ladies! Do you two have any idea how much damage you just caused here?!" Another voice chimed in from the opposite side, successfully sandwiching the tsunderes between two equally angry security guards.
"Alright punks, you two had better have a beary good explanation for- EMMY-CHAN?! Is that you?" The boy in the bear suit exclaimed in surprise.
"Oh brother." Marie sighed in defeat.
"If I might say anything in our defense... This girl's the one that started everything! I'm completely innocent!" Selena suddenly added in, pointing an accusatory finger at Marie for extra emphasis.
"WHAT?! Oh you stuck up whiny bi-"
"All right, calm down Marie-chan! You might be a good friend, but we're still gonna have to bring BOTH of you in for the massive wound you're about to stick into my salary!" The other security guard warned, clearly upset at the two girls for their behavior. At this point, all the tsunderes could do was give each other the angriest stares they could muster.
Meanwhile, Noire had returned to her human form, having finally retreated far enough so that nobody could possibly suspect her for trashing the store.
"That was a bigger pain that I would have expected. Ah well, all's well that ends well. Now, where's that ticket?" Noire sighed as she frantically reached into her hair in an attempt to claim her reward.
"Oh come on... Not now... WHERE THE HELL IS IT?!" Noire shrieked in fear upon realizing that she had indeed lost the ticket she had fought tooth and nail for.
"I don't believe this! I mean, there's no way the damn thing could've fallen out! Somebody must've stolen it!" Noire continued her tantrum, stomping her foot on the ground to further cement her bad mood.
Little did the CPU know that a mysterious masked Phantom was hiding in the shadows just out of sight, with a rather familiar ticket firmly grasped in his hand. He gave a rather sly smirk as he slipped it into his pocket, though he couldn't feeling at least a little bad for the girl he had just swiped it off of. The youth casually shrugged as he walked away acting as if nothing had happened. Maybe he could do something to make it up to the upset girl later down the line. Perhaps he could start up a new Social Link if he played his cards right.
To Be Continued?
Find out what happens later on a future What If Death Battle! Shameless plug go!http://deathbattlefanon.wikia.com/wiki/Noire_vs_Marie