Two of the most feared warriors known to man fight eachother for glory and money.






Francis slowly closed the door of his closet as he put on his shirt, raising his sleeves slightly. He checked his pockets, making sure his switchblade was ready as he sensed a powerful presence near himself. He adjusted his glasses, sniffing with his nose and looking around. Frank assumes a crouching position, taking cover behind the walls of his apartment and gulping as he looked outside, through the window. What he'd witness on the streets was the midget, walking and talking skeleton. He sighed deeply, turning his head to face the floor. Francis looked around, beginning to shout.

Filthy Frank: Pink guy, weeaboo alert!!!

One of the doors of the apartment opened, the man in a pink costume walking inside and facing Francis.

Filthy Frank: Get us out of here!

Pink Guy: Give me the pusssssyyyyy, bosssss!

Francis follows Pink Guy to a basement, filled with weapons. inside were multiple Francis of the Filth characters and personas, including Safari Man, Salamander Man, Green Guy and many more.

Filthy Frank: He's coming.

Salamander Man: NNNNYEEESSSS!

Francis looked to one of the walls on his right, grunting and taking out his switchblade, preparing for an attack. A gasterblast blew open the wall, leaving a large hole and filling the room with smoke. Large parts of the wall flew towards Francis, who was however saved by Pink Guy.

Pink Guy: Boss!

Filthy Frank: Thank you, Pink Guy.

Sans: It's a beautiful day outside...

Filthy Frank: He's here, take cover.

Sans: Birds are chirping...

Francis could see the midget skeleton walking inside the basement through the large hole made earlier by the gaster blast. Sans looked around, smiling and continuing to speak.

Sans: On days like these, kids like you...

Filthy Frank: Enough!

Francis walked out of cover, the skeleton stopping and staring at him. Francis was breathing heavily, tightening his grip on the switchblade.

Filthy Frank: Listen, we can reason. This is no time for battle.

Sans: Heh...

Sans slowly raised and extended his right arm in Francis' direction, a smile forming on his face. A Gasterblaster appeared behind Sans, its mouth opening and showing a small, blue sphere of a strange aura inside of it.

Sans: S H O U L D B E B U R N I N G I N...

Francis' eyes widened as he saw the gasterblaster, running to one of the weapon displays and opening it, taking out a katana. The gasterblaster blasted the opposite wall open, leaving a large hole.

Sans: H E L L.

Francis ran over to Sans, slashing at him with the katana. Sans' eyes widened, jumping to the left and avoiding the katana. Francis yelled, swiping his katana to the left. Sans jumped, then slamming his feet on the katana as it appeared under him, sending it into the ground. Frank gasped, a shocked expression forming on his face as he took a step back from Sans. A straw hat flew towards Sans, getting stuck in the bones that would make up his neck.

Safari Man: Hey! *In Japanese*

Sans looked at Safari Man with a furious expression on his face, extending his right arm towards him. Safari Man quickly flew into Sans' arm, which impaled his stomach, blood flying out of him and onto Frank's face. Frank watched, shedding two tears. A loud melody flooded the room. Sans looked around, confused and annoyed. Pink Guy pulled Francis back, taking him to cover.

Salamander Man: Nnnnyyyyeesss!

Filthy Frank: Oh shit... thank you guys.

Pink Guy nods, looking around before whistling. Green Guy jumped out of the hole in the wall, looking around and taking out a boombox, which he'd then throw at Sans. Sans smiled, changing the boombox's gravity. The boombox flew into a wall, breaking into a million pieces. Green Guy looked at it, confused.

Green Guy: Boot, is supposad too be the secret.

Green Guy flew towards Sans, who'd send a bone into Green Guy's head, cutting it clean off. Pink Guy looked at the corpse, beginning to cry. Salamander Man played a beautiful lullaby on the flute, calming Pink Guy down. Francis runs to another weapon display, opening it and grabbing a pink pistol. He aims it at Sans, a few tears slowly running down his cheeks as he notices Green Guy's corpse.

Filthy Frank: Stop!

Sans grins, extending his right arm and moving it around, making the pistol fly into several walls, eventually leaving it in a corner. A scream could be heard from the distance, as brocolli flew into Sans' head, though not doing any damage.

Filthy Frank: Is... is it him?

Sans looks around, before being tackled to the ground by another midget: Shaman. Shaman flies into a wall because of Sans' gravity powers. Blood flies out of Shaman's mouth as he is slammed against the walls, eventually falling down.

Filthy Frank: Shaman, no!

A moment of silence fills the room, as time seems to go by slower. Francis looks at Shaman, Sans looks at Francis, Pink Guy and Salamander Man watch from afar, in fear. The silence is broken by the same scream. Shaman had risen. He runs over to Sans, beginning to punch him. The two engage in hand-to-hand combat. For every two punches Shaman manages to land on Sans, he receives ten, yet he still doesn't back down. Shaman's face is covered in blood, Sans' is in Shaman's blood. Sans lands one last punch into Shaman's stomach, sending him into the nearest wall. The wall starts cracking, then slowly collapsing on Shaman.

Francis runs to cover, joining Pink Guy and Salamander Man. He looks around, noticing another wall is collapsing. Sans also notices the collapsing wall, hearing a deep voice.

Red Dick: GO!

A trash can flies towards Sans, who simply makes it fly into another wall. Sans smiled, watching Red Dick and Prometheus walk into the battlefield. Red Dick took out a device, pressing one of the buttons on it. The fighters were teleported to the Rock Paper Scissors arena.

Red Dick: Frank, call Chin Chin!

Sans' eyes widened as he heard Red Dick, extending his arm towards the glass-wearing being. Prometheus jumped in front of Red Dick, being pulled into Sans' arm and being impaled, thus saving Red Dick. Red Dick shed a single tear as he watched his single greatest invention perish to the midget. He looked to his right, seeing Francis call Chin Chin. Red Dick ran towards Sans, attempting to punch him, in order to give Frank more time to call the Dark Lord. Sans sent a bone towards Red Dick, killing him with a single, lethal blow to his heart.

Sans: W h o ' s n e x t ?

Lemon juice flew into Sans' eyes, blinding him for a short period of time. Lemon Guy ran towards Sans, throwing punches at him. Sans' eyes open, dodging the punches and grabbing Lemon Guy's neck, tightening his grip on it and choking him out. He let go of the now limp lemon master, turning his head to face the trio that was summoning Chin Chin.

Sans: D o n o t e v e n t r y.

Sans grinned, a bone flying into Salamander Man's forehead, ripping the head off of his body. Blood splattered onto Pink Guy and Frank's faces, as they looked in shock at their now dead friend. Water began pouring out of the sky. Francis looked around, his eyes and mouth wide open.

Sans: B y e.

Sans chuckled, sending another bone, this time towards Francis. It was as if time slowed down, the massive bone slowly flying towards the man of filth. Pink Guy noticed the bone, shedding a tear as he jumped behind Francis, getting impaled by the bone and slowly muttering his last words.

Pink Guy: Give me... the pussy... boss...

Pink Guy fell to the ground, the large bone filling the majority of the space on his chest. Francis turned his head towards Pink Guy's corpse, staring at it. Tears started running down Frank's cheeks as he thought about all of the friends he's lost in the battle against the midget skeleton. Sans chuckled, placing his hands in his pockets and slowly walking towards Francis. He stopped in front of Francis, his left eye glowing blue. Francis crawled backwards, attempting to escape from Sans, but to no avail. His friends died, and he was no match for the skeleton.

Sans: B y e.

Sans takes his right hand out of his pocket, extending his arm towards Francis. Four Gasterblasters form around Sans, their mouths opening slowly. Francis wiped the tears off of his face as he heard a loud farting noise echo through the rock paper scissors arena. A red beam flew into Sans' left arm, ripping it clean off. Sans looked around, blood flowing out of his shoulder. He jumped to cover, placing his right hand on his shoulder, to stop the bleeding.

Chin Chin: Ore wa... Chin Chin!

Chin Chin appeared next to Francis. He places his left hand on Frank's shoulder, teleporting him behind cover. Chin Chin turned his ass towards the skeleton. A red beam flew out of his anus, into Sans' right arm, disintegrating it almost instantly. Chin Chin screamed, firing another beam into Sans' body. The body would explode into many pieces, blood filling the Rock Paper Scissors arena. Chin Chin screamed once again before disappearing.

And the winner is...

Filthy Frank! He might not be as powerful, but his allies and even enemies are strong enough to overthrow Sans.