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AVGN vs. Dashie
No rules.

Just bloodshed.

DBX!

Loud As F*%K!!!! Edit

Setting: AVGN's house

The AVGN was sitting in his living room, playing yet another shitty SNES game. He tossed the controller down as the game's death jingle resounded from his television.

AVGN: Man, this game is such a shitfest! Did you SEE that inpu-

Before the famed internet ranter could finish his sentence, a massive noise from the house next to his shook it to the very foundations. The floorboards and wall supports creaked, and the AVGN looked around in surprise as his mind took in the noise and made out words.

???: WHAT UP!?!? IT'S DASHIE!!! AND WELCOME BACK TO... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!

The AVGN's expression contorted into one of dark rage. His fists clenched, and his teeth ground against each other.

AVGN: That motherfucker... Ever since he moved in next door he's been nothing but LOUD LOUD LOUD!!

The Nerd got up and kicked his recording camera aside, as he stormed out the door of his house and towards his new neighbor's.

AVGN: Time to shut him up for good!

Meanwhile in the neighboring house, DashieXP, who had just moved in the other day, was beginning his weekly Happy Wheels video. As per usual, he was louder than most people could possibly be, and that was why he was so popular. Well, it was a factor, anyway.

Dashie: Oh mah god, that was so loud... My neighbors are gonna get so mad... But uh ANYWAY-

Dashie's intro was brutally interrupted by the sound of his front door crashing down with a loud Cra-Crack-THUMP!

Dashie: What the FUCK!?

Dashie got up from his seat and ran as fast as he could down the stairs to see the Nerd standing on his fallen door. Dashie threw his arms in the air.

Dashie: Yo what the FUCK, man? I just bought this house and you gon tear it down already!?

The Nerd was steaming with anger and he jutted a finger at the Dominican YouTuber.

AVGN: YOU'VE BEEN LOUD EVER SINCE YOU MOVED IN AND I CAN'T RECORD ANYTHING WITH YOUR FATASS SHOUTING EVERY TIME I RECORD A VIDEO! SO I'M MOVING YOU OUT... TO HEAVEN!

The Nerd took out his NES Zapper Pistol and trained it on Dashie.

Dashie: I TOLD Y'ALL MAH NEIGHBORS WERE GONNA BE MAD AS SHIT!!

HERE WE GO!!! Edit

The Nerd pulled the trigger of his gun and fired several pixelated rounds of energy at Dashie.

Dashie: WAT!!

Dashie rolled out of the way and grabbed one of the photos framed on his wall. The Nerd's eyes followed him and reacted to a picture of Sonic the Hedgehog's classical design in a photo frame as tall as him sailing towards him. He pulled up his Blaster and fired again, obliterating the painting.

Dashie sprung from behind the painting, swinging his fists wildly at the Nerd. Dashie's right fist collided with his jaw, and the Nerd staggered back.

AVGN: Oww... You son of a bitch!

His Blaster flew up again and fired more shots at Dashie. The latter rolled to the side again, but the Nerd had anticipated this movement and rushed toward him, whipping the back of Dashie's head with the butt of his Blaster. Dashie yelped in pain and fell to the floor.

The Nerd raised his left leg to stomp on Dashie's exposed back, but the Dominican YouTuber swung his leg into the back of the Nerd's right foot, sending him crashing to the floor as well. His Blaster skittered away from him, and Dashie scrambled to his feet. The Nerd slowly did the same, and Dashie grabbed the collar of his shirt with both fists and ran forward, slamming the Nerd against the wall.

AVGN: Oof!

Dashie pulled one fist away from his collar and swung it into the Nerd's face repeatedly. After a few blows to his head, the Nerd brought his legs up from under him and kicked forcefully into Dashie's stomach. Dashie released him and staggered back, the wind kicked out of him, as the Nerd's feet landed on the floor. The latter's hand flew to his pocket for some kind of weapon.

All he came up with was a pebble.

AVGN: ...This weapon sucks.

Disregarding its terrible functionality as a projectile, the Nerd chucked the small rock at his adversary. The stone cracked against Dashie's temple.

Dashie: DAYUM!

Dashie exclaimed in pain, and his hand covered the spot of impact. He looked around quickly to find a weapon, and he spotted his Mega Buster hanging on the wall. He ran for it, dodging more rocks thrown by the Nerd.

As his rock supply ran out, the Nerd's hand returned to his pocket, pulling out some more rocks. He looked back to to aim them, but found himself staring down the barrel of Dashie's Mega Buster, equipped on the man's arm.

Dashie: Say goodnight, BITCH!

The Buster fired several yellow shots at the Nerd, who stared in shock before dashing (hue) out of the way. The shots impacted the wall behind him, which erupted into splinters of wood and insulation. Dashie's arm cannon followed the Nerd as he moved, firing more rounds of energy at him.

As he avoided the blasts, the Nerd dashed (hue again) past his Blaster on the floor, and he stooped down, scooping it up as he zipped by. He aimed it at Dashie again and charged up a powerful shot. Dashie, seeing this, did the same.

AVGN: DIE!

Dashie: NO!!!

Both guns loosened their charged shots, a large pixelated red ball colliding with a giant blue blast of energy. They exploded upon contact and kicked up a large amount of dust and smoke, creating a wall of obscurity between the two YouTubers. Dashie took the opportunity to discard his exhausted, overheating arm cannon and grab a model Master Sword off the mantle of his living room. On the other side of the smog, the Nerd tossed aside his energy-depleted NES Blaster and pulled out his NES Power Glove before sliding it onto his right hand.

The two yelled battle cries as they charged into the smoke. Dashie swung his blade down at the Nerd, who raised his Power Glove to block it. They continued to clash for a bit, the Nerd blocking all of Dashie's swings with his glove. After a bit of combat, Dashie swung lazily and the Nerd ducked under the swing before coming back up with a savage uppercut. Dashie stumbled back, clinging to the hilt of the sword, and crashed against his kitchen counter. As he got up from the counter, he noticed a jar of peanut butter sitting next to him. Upon reading the three letters on the label, his expression turned to anger.

Dashie: ...JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIF!?!?!?

He grabbed the full tub of peanut butter and threw it at the Nerd, who was unable to react in time to keep the lid side from slamming into his nose.

AVGN: OW, DAMMIT!

As his hand covered his bloody nose, Dashie rushed forward, invigorated by the rage he felt at the sight of the JIF.

Dashie: I TOLD YOU I ONLY FUCK WITH THAT SKIPPY, SON!!!

The sword flashed through the air, and the Nerd's right arm was cleaved off at the shoulder, taking the Power Glove with it. The Nerd howled in agony as blood seeped from the stump, but Dashie didn't relent.

Dashie: YOU GON LEARN TODAY!!!

Dashie grabbed the Nerd by the shoulder and thrust him outside, the latter too weak to resist. Dashie pulled the Nerd's wallet out of his pocket and cupped a hand to his mouth.

Dashie: YO BARNEY!!!

At his call, a black SUV sped up the street and skidded to a halt in front of Dashie. The sunroof peeled back, and Dashie's nemesis, Barney the Purple Dinosaur, stuck his head out.

Barney: DASHIE, YOU GOT MY MONEY!?

The Dominican man kicked the Nerd forward and held his wallet up to see.

Dashie: TAKE CARE OF THIS MOTHAPHUCKA AND I GOT YOU!!!

Barney grinned maliciously.

Barney: YOU GOT IT, MAH BOI!!! AH-HYAY!!!

As he belted out his typical laugh of anger, he pulled out a minigun and loosed an entire round of bullets at the Nerd. The internet ranter was riddled with lead, and as his cries of pain died out, he was reduced to little more than a twitching pile of bullet-filled flesh and bones, his blood caking Dashie's sidewalk.

Dashie flashed a thumbs up to Barney and threw the fallen man's wallet at him. Barney caught it, looked inside, and grinned as he saw the sum of cash within. Letting loose another AH-HYAY, he got back into his car and sped off.

Dashie, now alone, let out a sigh of relief and dropped the sword. He looked back at his house and started to head back inside... Before he noticed that his house was up in flames from the destruction that had occurred during the fight.

Dashie: ...FUUUUUUUUUU-

As the camera cut to black, the only thing that could be heard was a collective groan.

Crowd: AWWWWW!

DBX!

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